I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
