It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize