i just had sex bonerless
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
