im about as happy as oj after his trial
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I came so hard my ears popped.
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