Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
