How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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