Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
