I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
