I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
