She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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