Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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