I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Randomize