Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
