Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
