The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
