Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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