Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
