why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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