i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize