the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize