Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
