I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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