I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Randomize
