I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
