but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
