Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
