I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
