$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
