ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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