Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
