he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i drank out of a bidet.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
