YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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