Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
