i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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