seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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