They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
