dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
