I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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