i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
