you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
they need to just BURY HIM!
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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