Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
