I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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