so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
