the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
