She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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