Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
