the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
