She went from zero to smokin in five shots
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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