Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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