Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
