my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
It's like God shit irony all over that family
smell my finger.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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