There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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