I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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