Whoa Z and x make the same sound
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
