she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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