I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
