Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Randomize
