one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
