About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
