i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
