Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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