"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
