We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
