i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you didnt know i had herpes?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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