I want to make a zoo with you.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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