Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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