So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
